


The Man Who Was(n't) There

by chasingbluefish



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Divergence-Everyone Lives!, Horror, Luna Is Very Wise, M/M, Malevolent Presence, Mentions of Brain Disease, Supernatural Gaslighting, Unsettling Encounters, mentions of mental health issues, post second war, strange happenings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22566388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingbluefish/pseuds/chasingbluefish
Summary: Yesterday, upon the stair,I met a man who wasn’t thereHe wasn’t there again todayI wish, I wish he’d go away...― Hughes Mearn
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 20
Kudos: 70
Collections: RS Fireside Tales Vol.2





	The Man Who Was(n't) There

**Author's Note:**

> I am so happy to be a part of this fest. It is my favourite fest of all. Huge Thank you to the Mods for putting this together and for putting up with me! All the love and gratitude to those who have listened, counselled, supported, and given me slack. My Betas. Gah, can't wait to read everyone's works!
> 
> My prompt is as follows:
> 
> Yesterday, upon the stair,  
> I met a man who wasn’t there  
> He wasn’t there again today  
> I wish, I wish he’d go away...  
> ― Hughes Mearn

Remus eyed the man in the corner of the room with tired eyes. 

“Don’t.” He said finally, futily, while the man fingered the edge of a teacup on the sideboard. A few more seconds ticked by and then the cup was arcing through the air and hitting the floor in a shatter of ceramic. It spread over the worn hardwood, bled into the tattered edge of their rug, and Remus felt his shoulders drop. 

In the kitchen, he heard the sounds of dinner stop and sighed. The man grinned, teeth black, and eyes bright. 

“He’s going to be angry.” He said, as though relishing the idea. “He won’t say he’s angry...he’ll act like he’s worried. But don’t believe him.”

“Shut up.” Remus muttered, looking away. 

“What?” Sirius was in the doorway.

“Not you, sorry.”

“Was it him?” Sirius asked, eyes raking over Remus before darting to the puddle of cold tea and white shards. 

The question felt as though Sirius were humoring him but he nodded anyways, and pushed himself up from the sofa. “I’ll clean it.” 

“I can, just… sit. It’s fine.” Sirius pushed his sleeves up, wand in hand and uttered a firm ‘reparo’ followed by a ‘scourgify’. He floated the cup into his hand instead of back to its place. Safer that way, Remus thought, but it still stung.

And all the while the man stayed in the corner, gloating. 

“Told you.” He said.

  
  
  


Sirius had chosen the house. Of course Sirius wanted Remus to have an equal say and Remus had offered his thoughts to give the appearance but when they’d stepped inside and Sirius’ face had lit up, Remus had decided this was it. Having lived in so many homes over the course of his long, short life, Remus had become less attached to his abodes and more concerned about the amenities. Roofs that didn’t leak, windows that weren’t broken. Running water. A home was something Sirius had always longed for, a thing denied him again and again. And so, when Sirius had seen the old place outside of Hogsmeade and his soul seemed to settle Remus knew it was their home. 

It was an old whitewashed farmhouse with warped wooden floors and stone fireplaces. The rooms upstairs had sloped ceilings and funny dimensions but it felt cozy, eccentric in a way that was comfortable. Outside they had falldown fences and an overgrown apple orchard, a potting shed Sirius was keen to turn into a greenhouse and space to grow. 

They’d filled it with a mix of new and old, solid pieces that were beautifully made, art that brought a twinkle to Sirius’ eyes. Sirius’ eye for quality was one of the few positive things he’d retained from his upbringing. They became faithful readers of the Quibbler, stacks of them all over the guest room cum library. Remus took up tutoring students from Hogwarts and writing for an advice column dealing with defense magic inquiries while Sirius brought the garden to life.

A year drifted by as they settled into their new life, a life that neither man ever imagined they would have. 

And so, when odd things began to happen around the house, they found it entertaining if anything. A mug moving counters when Remus had his back turned, the tea tin suddenly taking up residence in the upstairs airing cupboard. Sirius set out a bowl of cream and some bread, telling Remus “Trust us to pick a house with a sprite in it.”

The first time something broke, Remus was the only person in the room. Seated at his desk, he’d nearly overturned the inkwell when an explosion of glass erupted behind him. One of the few paintings he’d chosen for the living room was in pieces on the floor as though someone had thrown it straight at the hardwood. 

“What the hell?” He crouched next to the shards of frame and glass, inspecting the wire that had been keeping it on the wall. It was completely intact. The nail was still firmly in place where it had been hanging above the sideboard. 

With a quick spell, the thing put itself back together but Remus was hesitant to put it back. Instead he leaned it against the cupboard and regarded it for a few minutes more as he tried to quell the unsettled feeling in his chest. 

A week later the shivers started. 

Again he was seated at his desk, quill in hand. 

Something slithered through the shaft of afternoon sunlight across his desk and he glanced up towards the window. Nothing was there but as he peered, his scalp began to tingle and stand on end. Someone was watching him, this he knew in absolute certainty, and beneath that knowledge was a sudden strike of unease. It was a blooming fear that made his skin crawl and his heart began to speed in his chest. In his mind a cognizance of approaching doom took root. Something awful was going to happen. A sort of awful that he had no control over, no way to intercept or change, the kind of awful that made one crawl under the blankets and curl into a ball and pray.

His fingers shook as he set down his quill and turned in his chair. A man about to face his executioner.

Nothing. 

There was nothing in their living room. 

Even as he absorbed this fact a chill ran up his spine and made him shudder. Darting eyes struggled to reconcile the cheerful room with the dread in his heart.

“Remus?” Sirius stood in the doorway, sleeves rolled up, dirt on his hands. Remus opened his mouth to greet him but nothing came out and he clamped his jaw shut. “What’s happened?” Concern immediately coloured Sirius’ gaze and Remus again tried to reassure him but all he managed was a rather rough ‘Nothing, nothing’.

It took another ten minutes to convince Sirius but eventually the chill left his bones and he began to wonder if he’d imagined it all. 

Until it happened again while walking down the upstairs hallway. The walls and corners lost their definition and as he stumbled into the open door of the airing cupboard and things went sideways he felt that spinning terror begin to clutch at his heart. A tightening, squeezing, suffocating grip that made him wheeze for breath. 

A set of fingers slowly appeared around the corner, molding themselves to the sharp edge and gripping tight. Remus felt his gaze drawn to them, unable to breathe. 

Downstairs a door slammed. 

Sunlight leeched back into the hall and the fingers withdrew. 

Weak-kneed, Remus sank to the floor until he was sitting.

The thumping of Sirius’ boots sounded on the stairs and then he was there, smile disappearing as he drank in the scene. 

“What happened? Are you hurt?” Instantly he was on his knees beside Remus, fingers searching. 

“I’m alright, I’m fine.” Remus found himself saying, catching Sirius’ hands and stilling them with his own. “It’s just…” He trailed off, trying to think of what to say. 

“Just what?”

“There’s something here. In our house.”

Sirius blinked at him. “What kind of thing?” He didn’t question the fact that something might be in the old farmhouse. Remus could see the determined set of his jaw, the familiar expression that meant Sirius wanted to identify, strategise, and eradicate a problem. Sirius was a man who immediately went into action when those he loved were threatened. 

“I don’t know. A spirit? It’s something dark.” Remus could feel the tremor returning as he thought back to those fingers. “Just like when the painting smashed. This time I saw its hand. Whatever it is, we need to get rid of it.”

“If you don’t know what it is, I bloody well won’t. Are you tutoring tomorrow?”

“Yes, library.”

“Perfect. You talk to McGonagall. Look at the books.”

“You ask about town. See if past owners complained.”

They helped each other to their feet, united. 

And they stayed united as lead after lead yielded nothing. Previous occupants had nothing to report, nor did the town gossips. House cleansings and whatever other rituals they found did not rid them of the pest. 

Remus liked to think of it as his pest. The thing, whatever it was, only seemed to appear to him. Sirius tried to draw it out, called it names, demanded an audience, but it remained stubbornly silent only to throw a chair over the minute Sirius left the room.

Creeping fingers turned into full apparitions. While soaking in the bath Remus looked up to find a faceless man staring down at him. He’d shouted and thrown his book at it. When Sirius came storming into the room the man had withdrawn to the corner and despite its lack of features, Remus felt as though it were smirking. 

“There, behind you!” Remus had rasped, already climbing to his feet. Sirius spun around, wand out, ready to fight. Except after a few seconds his shoulders dropped and he turned back to Remus in confusion. 

“...I must have missed it.”

“What?!” Remus had stepped out onto the bath mat, confused as well. ‘“It’s right bloody behind you, there, in the corner.” He pointed again. Again Sirius looked and again he shrugged. 

“There’s nothing there, Remus.”

The man crossed his arms, leaning back against the wall as though relaxed and Remus swore. He grabbed his wand from the vanity counter. “Reveilo!”

They both waited. 

“Can you see it now?” Remus asked, almost desperate. Sirius was peering hard at the wall but after a moment he shook his head. 

“No. I’m sorry, but I can’t see a damned thing.” Behind him the thing pushed itself up from the wall and tilted its head. Remus’ heart thudded against his ribs as he swallowed back his fear, his frustration. The thing reached to run its fingers along Sirius shoulder and Remus lunged. 

“Don’t touch him!” He snarled, pulling Sirius towards himself. 

“Remus!?”

But suddenly it was gone. They were alone. 

“Remus?” Sirius asked again even as Remus sagged and kept his hold on Sirius' arm. 

'It tried to touch you."

"It's alright, I didn't feel a thing."

The answer was as reassuring as it was frustrating.

  
  


Weeks slid by. More things were broken, items lost. The man began to fill in. Eyes glared out of sunken bones, mouth a cruel line. Every time he appeared there was something new. And somehow, someway, Remus found him familiar. He began to guess at what the features would be and suddenly his hair fell in exactly the way Remus had thought it would, or the slope of his shoulders. Even the small crease between his brows. 

“He’s finding it harder and harder to believe you.” Was the first thing the man said. Lounging against the bookcase while Remus and Sirius were eating dinner, he grinned conspiratorially. Remus tried to ignore him. He popped a roast potato into his mouth and chewed deliberately. He could feel Sirius watching him, studying his face. 

“Is he here?” Sirius asked finally.

“No.” 

“Your eyes keep drifting to the books.”

“Trying to decide what to read tonight.”

“Moony…”

Remus set down his fork, leaned back in his chair and let his shoulders slump. “...you can’t see it. What’s the point in telling you? You’re already beginning to think I’m mad.”

“I have never-”

“I can tell. In your eyes.”

“I’m just bloody concerned, alright? Something is coming after you, something is scaring you. It’s destroying our things, our life. Of course I’m fucking worried.”

“But you can’t _see him._ ”

“Just because I can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t real! For Merlin’s sake Remus, I am _trying_.”

Remus rubbed at his face tiredly. 

“I know, I know.” He let out a breath. “I’m sorry. I just…”

“Somehow, someway, we will figure this out.”

“Yeah, I know.” Except Remus felt little conviction as he spoke. 

  
  
  


Harry came to visit three days later. 

After a subdued lunch, he and Sirius had gone for a stroll in the garden leaving Remus alone. 

“They’re talking about you.” The man appeared at his elbow. “Think you’ve gone round the bend, completely loony.”

“Shut up.”

“You know I’m right, come on, have a listen. They’re by the kitchen window. Lazy for someone who’s supposed to be an auror.” Fetid breath tickled his ear, and he cringed, hating that he felt betrayal. That the words were hitting home. 

As he rose from the sofa and tip-toed through the kitchen, the man followed, always close. 

The window was already open and he tucked himself up against the cupboards where they wouldn’t be able to see him if they looked up. 

“...not any better then?” This was Harry’s voice. 

“What gave that away?”

“He looks awful Sirius.”

“He’s not sleeping… he’s barely eating.” Sirius’ frustration bled into his words and Remus frowned. “It would help if I could see what he’s seeing but even when he says it’s in the same room, hell, standing next to me, I don’t see or feel a bloody thing.”

“No one I’ve spoken with has any ideas. They all came up with the same things you two did back when it started. I wish-”

“We all wish.”

“Some people are saying… perhaps he’s imagining it.”

“Don’t you dare Harry.”

“I’m not. I’m just telling you what a couple of people have said. They think maybe he’s just-”

“I asked you to speak to some experts at the ministry, not spread it around as gossip!”

“I didn’t! I went to a handful of people in the strictest of confidence. And a couple of them think that perhaps this is something else. Something… mental.”

“Harry!”

“I’m not saying I don’t believe him. Whatever it is, he believes it. I can see that. But when you look at things objectively it can make sense. And I’m laying this out for you so that you know what you’re up against if people start talking, alright?”

Inside, Remus was biting the inside of his cheek to keep from defending himself. The thing was grinning, an insidious thing. 

“This’ll be good.” It said.

Outside, Harry continued.

“You haven’t seen, felt, or experienced a single thing. Every time something has broken or exploded or been lost, Remus was there. Alone in the room. If something had happened when you were both together, independently, it would make more sense, wouldn’t it? But he’s always there.”

“He would never-”

“What if he doesn’t know he’s doing it? Wizard medicine isn’t exactly on the forefront of mind healing but the muggles...they have names for things like this. Dementia, alzheimers...Hermione-”

“I don’t want to hear anymore.”

“Sirius, please, look at me… I don’t want to believe it either. I want to find out what this is, I want it gone, I want Remus to be better. I want him to be alright. No matter what the cause is. I love him too.”

“And how did you feel, when Voldemort was in your head, poisoning your thoughts? You felt crazy then, you thought you were evil, you thought you’d lost the plot. And you hadn’t. It was all real. People doubted you, _but it was all real_ Harry. You’re someone who can understand exactly how he’s feeling right now.” 

Harry dropped his head as Sirius grasped his shoulder. 

“Merlin… I’m sorry, you’re right. I just… I keep trying to think of something and I’m going in circles.”

“Me too.”

Remus carefully extricated himself from the kitchen window and headed for the stairs. 

Was Harry right? Was he losing his mind? 

“You’ll never know, will you?” The man was one step behind him. “...only you can see me, only you. Even if I am real, who's to say I am? I could tell you I’m real until the cows come home but if I’m just a figment of your mind, well, really. Who would know?”

“Would you just fuck off? For once, just fuck off and leave me be!” Remus snarled, spinning on his heel. 

“Oh dear, have I upset you?” The man practically preened at the prospect.

Remus cursed again and turned into the bedroom. The blankets and sheets were still rumpled from the morning and he toed off his shoes before crawling back in. 

When Sirius came upstairs to find him after Harry’s departure he pretended to be asleep until he heard the brunet sigh and leave. 

  
  


The days began to run together. Get up. Wash. Dress. Watch their home be invaded and broken by a thing only he could see. Listen to all of his greatest fears whispered in his ear, the fetid breath promising pain and ruin. Sirius kept a brave face, tried desperately to understand, but Remus could feel himself withdrawing. That age-old mechanism of self-defense.

“Helloooo?” A loud bang startled Remus out of a half-doze. As he blinked away the vestiges of sleep and looked for the man, it occurred to him that the voice did not belong to his constant companion. 

A flash of blond passed the window. Remus frowned, forcing himself to stand. 

The smaller window over his desk was open and he listened to the rustle of disturbed foliage until the face of Luna Lovegood appeared, peering curiously. 

“Oh, hello! Sorry about the noise. Did I scare you? No one answered the door so I thought I’d have a look around.” She reached to untangle her hair from the shrub and was mostly successful save the few little leaves that stayed behind. 

“Sirius is in London. On business.” 

“His garden is looking marvelous.” She seemed perfectly content tucked in amongst the evergreen, half in the window.

“Would you like to come inside?” Remus felt a smile tugging at his mouth and the feeling was so alien it caught him off guard. 

She smiled back and then ducked out of sight and Remus went to open the front door. As she passed him into the house he caught sight of a branch sticking out of her hair and resisted the urge to tug it free. He watched her survey the living room before nodding to herself and wandering in the direction of the kitchen. Remus knew better than to ask and simply followed. 

“I’ve come to help,” She said finally, coming to a stop near the dining table and turning to face him. 

“To help?” A shiver of warning touched his spine and he thought he caught a whisper of shadow in the corner.

“Or at least try to.”

“Luna, that’s very kind of you but I’ve got things in hand.”

She had followed his gaze to the corner and stared. 

“A walk.” Luna went on as though she hadn’t heard Remus. “The bowtruckles are more friendly in the autumn.” She tugged his cloak down from the hook and held it out. 

“Alright, yes. A walk.” The shadow in the corner coalesced into a human form. Remus set his jaw and fastened his cloak. 

As they traversed the yard and headed toward the woods he could feel eyes on his back and had to resist the urge to look over his shoulder to see if the man was watching him through the window. 

“How long has it been around?” Luna finally broke the silence once they were under the cover of the trees. Leaves crunched beneath their feet, a soothing background noise. Remus felt his shoulders begin to loosen and sighed. 

“Months.”

“And it’s gotten worse. Harry’s terribly worried.”

“Yes, I know he is.” A hint of bitterness crept into his voice and he felt an instant regret. “Christ, sorry. I just-”

“Don’t apologise. I know exactly what it feels like to be thought mad. I’m Loony Luna.” She said it without a trace of malice. “The Lovegoods are professional nutters.”

“People can be cruel.”

“I’ve never cared what they think. I know what I know and see what I see. It’s rather unfortunate for them that they can’t share it with me.” Luna shrugged, fingers reaching to dance over half-turned leaves. Luna looked back at him with her strangely clear eyes and Remus had the distinct impression that he was speaking with someone much older and wiser than himself.

“You’re a remarkable person, Luna.”

She shrugged. “Not really. There’s a difference between a snorkack and a malign entity.”

They’d come to a small creek and Luna clambered up onto a large boulder where she settled cross-legged. After a minute’s decision, Remus chose a stump as his seat. Although Luna stayed silent, her posture was open and her expression expectant. 

“We’ve tried everything.” He said. “...Sirius and I. We’ve even tried muggle rites and ceremonies. Nothing’s bloody worked. It… the thing, just keeps getting worse and worse. He says things, does things… half the time Sirius is in the room and the man will speak directly to him, stand a centimeter in front of his face, scream, and… nothing. Sirius has no idea. Everything he smashes, he smashes when I’m the only person in the room. Everything he hides is mine. I’m the only one who can see it, hear it. I’m the only one… and I’m starting to think that maybe I really am losing my damned mind.” 

“No. You aren’t.” Luna replied immediately. “I saw it. In your kitchen, in the corner. Just a slip of it but I did and it felt awful. Everything was gluggy and wrong and terrifying. You aren’t imagining things.”

The relief at those words was overwhelming and he sagged where he sat, hand covering his face as he heaved a breath. 

“So now… we have to figure out how to get rid of it.” Luna stretched out her legs and picked at the moss on the stone in thought.

“I don’t think it’s possible.”

“Anything is possible.” She countered. “I thought your father’s books would have something helpful? He was an adept in his field. Dad speaks quite highly of him. Said he was the preeminent expert on non-human spiritous apparitions. Clever man.”

Remus shook his head.

“We went through all of his personal library, told mum it was for my tutoring. It’s not a boggart, ghoul, or a poltergeist, nor is it a dementor. But I do suspect it to be a non-being.”

“They cannot be born and they cannot be killed.” Luna quoted. 

“Indeed. I toyed with the idea of a Tulpa but… it was instantly evil. Insidious. Usually it takes a long while before a Tulpa will start to turn, if they even do.”

“Like Alexandra David-Neel’s skinny monk?” 

Remus arched a brow, impressed.

“I’ve done some research.” Luna beamed. “Thought I’d get a head start before I came over.”

“And how did they create the monk then?” 

“With ages of meditation. Concentration. Which you haven’t. Yours just appeared.”

“Exactly.”

“And there was nothing at all in your father’s books? Not even personal papers or a journal or…?” 

And then it hit him. 

“Oh Merlin. I’ve been an idiot. A bloody idiot!” He jolted to his feet, already turning in the direction they’d come. 

“Have you?” Luna, nonplussed, hopped down from her rock. 

“Yes. My mother sent a few boxes to us months ago. Things of Dad’s she thought we’d like to have in the house. She sent all of his work journals, records he kept, his correspondence with others who worked with non-beings. She thought I’d find them interesting. I’ve barely had a look at them with everything going on.” 

The walk back was much faster than the walk out. Luna seemed to have no trouble keeping up with his near jog and soon they hit the border of the property. In the garden, she paused near a bush of dirigible plums Sirius had begun cultivating courtesy of her father’s advice. 

“Go on, then.” Remus grinned. Grinning back she plucked a couple and held them against her chest as they went inside.

“Remus, that you?” Sirius’ voice called from the living room. A second later the man himself appeared, soot on his robes and hair slightly off kilter. “Ah, hello Luna. Nice to see you.”

“Hello Sirius.” She nodded in greeting and then moved to set the plums down in the center of the dining table. When she caught Sirius watching she shrugged. “They enhance our ability to accept the extraordinary.” 

“They do.” Sirius agreed, arching a brow at his partner.

“The papers, Sirius. All of the things Mum sent. We’re so bloody thick. We never thought to look at them and I’d completely forgotten until Luna brought it up.”

“You aren’t idiots. You’re just forgetful sometimes. We all are.” Luna piped up at Sirius’ look of dawning realisation. “I know a few idiots. You aren’t them.”

“That’s very reassuring.” Sirius chuckled. 

“I’ll go grab the boxes.” Remus tossed his cloak over the back of a chair and headed upstairs.

“I’ll get the tea on.” Sirius got the kettle boiling with a wave of his wand and floated the cups and cream to the table. When a third cup nestled itself inside a saucer Luna shook her head. 

“I won’t be staying. I appreciate the assumption but I promised Dad I would help with his new diadem.”

“Oh. Well, thank you for the visit and for helping us.”

“You’re welcome.” She flashed a small smile. “Although, I wouldn’t say no to a refill of my thermos.”

“I think I can arrange that.” 

When Remus came back downstairs with a trio of boxes trailing behind him, it was in time to see Sirius handing Luna a bag of biscuits and a thermos. 

“Are you leaving?”

“Afraid so. Big plans.” She smiled.

“I can imagine.” The boxes settled on the table next to the tea service as Remus came forward and held out his hand. “Thank you so _much for_ your help today.”

“I’m glad I could.” She took the proffered hand and they shook. “Dad was tossing around the idea of writing an editorial about non-spiritous apparitions. He wanted to mention your father and how your parents met. Would that be alright? I know he changed careers later on but Dad really respected him.”

“I would be honoured.”

“Excellent. He’ll be thrilled.”

“And take one of the plums so he knows how they’re getting on.” Sirius added, taking one off of the table and passing it over. Luna tucked it tenderly into her pocket. 

“Alright, I’m off. Ta!”

“Goodbye!” The couple chorused together and then Luna was out the front door. 

Remus sank into the closest chair and fixed a cup of tea. “I can’t believe I bloody forgot about these.”

“It happened right before the spirit showed up.” Sirius joined him.

“Which on reflection probably isn’t a coincidence.”

“No, probably not.”

They took a box each and began to sift through the contents until they had a pile of papers, parchments, and ledgers between them. 

“She saw it, Luna.” Remus said a while later, one of his father’s notebooks in hand. “In the kitchen.” 

“She did?” 

“Yeah.”

“I mean… I’ve always heard that the Lovegood Family had a touch of sixth sense. And if any of them do, Luna would. She’s…”

“Not quite of this world?” Remus finished. Sirius grinned. 

“Yeah. In the best way.”

“Agreed… and I think there's something here.” Remus flipped to the next page in the notebook. “...he’s talking about wanting to find out how thought forms come into being. There’s no definitive answer really, theories, but it looks like Dad really wanted to find out. Here, look.” He turned the book and pushed it over. 

Sirius scanned the page. “...sorry, is he saying he wants to try and _make_ one?” 

“Looks like. This was right after he married Mum. Look for anything with a similar date." 

"Got it."

Over Sirius' shoulder he could see a body taking shape. A black void that slowly gained form and substance until a man was leaning against the wall. A man with stringy hair and black teeth, sunken eyes and protruding cheeks. 

"Look at this. Fancy yourselves a pair of detectives." The glee in its voice was unmistakable. 

Remus looked back down at the page without acknowledging the presence. 

“What, don’t want to talk to me? Oh dear, are we having a tiff?” The man pushed himself up from the wall and walked around to Remus’ side of the table. He leaned over Remus’ shoulder to try and read the page which had Remus promptly slamming the book shut. 

“Let's go to the pub. Bring the relevant papers.”

Sirius opened his mouth as though to question the decision but Remus could see him pause and nod. 

“Alright. Sounds good. Rosmerta said stew was on the menu tonight.” 

“Leaving won’t make me disappear. I’ll be waiting for you when you come home.” The man singsonged, keeping uncomfortably close as they rose and gathered everything. Sirius fetched a satchel with an extension charm from the hooks near the back door and Remus magicked everything inside. The idea of leaving the rest of his father’s things out for inspection by that entity made his skin crawl. 

Dusk was starting to fall as they stepped outside and Remus let the cold air soak into his skin. A clean cold, a crisp cold. Not the frigid fear that drained his energy and sapped his will. This was a good cold. 

“He was watching us?” Sirius guessed as they fell into step. 

“Yeah. If we somehow discover what to do, I don’t want him hearing it. He’ll be prepared. And I don’t want him pawing all over Dad’s things.”

“Whatever you think is best, is best. I’m following your lead.” Sirius reached to take Remus’ hand in his own and give it a squeeze. “Just tell me what you need.”

Remus squeezed back.

Later, when they were settled comfortably in a corner booth and had heaping bowls of stew and open notebooks, Remus felt content in a way that he hadn’t in a long time. 

“This is what home used to feel like… I want it back.”

“Hopefully your dad has something in here that we can use then, but even then, if we have to move, or buy a new house, or… fuck, I don’t know, whatever it is, we’ll do it.”

“It does seem unable to leave the house. It’s never followed me once. Not a single time. It’s peered at me from the windows but… I don’t think it can leave which stands to reason that it’s attached to something in the house.”

“Why would your dad even create it in the first place?”

“...I don’t know.” Remus shrugged, turning the page he’d been reading. “He’s written a lot about wanting to understand the fundamental principles of entities… maybe he thought by creating one he could? There’s a lot of notes about Tulpas, about The Skinny Monk.” His lip curved into a small smile. “Luna brought up The Skinny Monk.”

Sirius shook his head. “I have no idea what that is?”

“A woman went to Tibet, she was, hell, she was a lot of things, but she went there to pursue mysticism. She decided to try and create a Tulpa, a thought form. It’s… it gains substance from thought. Some muggles posit that the Loch Ness monster is a Tulpa. So many people believe in it, that it creates the monster. That it existed at one point and was seen, but now, it lives on as a Tulpa.”

“But Nessie’s real. We know that. Uncle Alphard even thought perhaps she kept up a correspondence with the Giant Squid.”

“Magic folk know that. Muggles don’t.”

“Right. So she decided to make her own?”

“Her and some students. Spent ages meditating. She came up with the idea of a fat, happy, monk. Very Friar Tuck. So they meditated on this monk, and eventually he existed. But after a while he started to change. He lost weight, he began to be seen by those not involved. He went dark. They had to spend months concentrating on undoing it. She nearly died by her own accounts.”

“...why would your dad want to do that?!”

“Reckon he was young, curious, thought he could do it properly? Dad was passionate about everything he did.”

“So we’ll have to meditate him away?”

“I have no idea. Where’s the next notebook?” 

Sirius slid it across and Remus snatched it over. He scanned the first few pages.

“Merlin... we were right. Look,” He cleared his throat before beginning to read out loud. _“I think it’s starting to take shape. Nothing substantial yet but there is a shimmer in the air now. I’ve warded the study so that nothing can escape. Hope has no idea. I underestimated how exhausting the process is, to sit here day after day and concentrate on this thing, this… image in my head._ ” 

“Does it say what the image was?”

“Just a man. An ordinary man. He didn’t want to overreach.” A few more pages flipped, Remus’ keen gaze quickly taking in the contents. “But he was doing it alone. It took more than he thought and wasn't becoming his desired result so he decided to abandon the project. He was worried he’d taken on more than he’d realised. It was starting to do things, just like it has with me.”

“He just… left it, half-formed and what, just…”

“No… that’s not like him.” More pages turned. “Dad tried to meditate it away, the same way he made it, but it didn’t work.”

“And?” 

“And…” Remus fell silent for a minute, frowning over the words. “He decided to just ignore it.”

“Ignore it?” Sirius echoed, confused.

“It makes perfect sense.” Remus was grinning now. “Thought forms… they feed on your energy, your emotions. They feed off of your attention. That’s what gives them their power. Ignoring the bastard, not giving him what he wants, that’s what diminishes him. I should have realised that my damned self.”

“But if your father ignored it, and it went away, how the hell did it come back and why in our house?”

“Mum. Almost everything in that box came from Dad’s study. He changed careers, began working for the control of magical creatures and all of that got boxed up and put in the shed. I remember Mum saying that she thought they’d be useful for me to see but Dad didn’t want them disturbed and they just sat out there, for years. We all forgot about them. He’s been gone four years now and she only just found them because she had decided to finally clean out the shed. So she gave them to us.”

“That thing has been lurking for all that time, waiting?”

“They can’t be born or killed. There must be some kind of… spirituous traces left on them. And we unpacked it. We let it out.”

“But why you? I’m the nutter between us, it would have been easier for it to latch onto me.”

Remus shrugged. “My only guess can be my father. Maybe it recognised him in me and that’s what got it to come out? And, you aren’t a nutter.”

“I am. But a well balanced one.” Sirius offered a lopsided grin. 

“The best people are.” Remus countered. 

“Fine. We’re both nutters. But nutters with a plan.”

“Yes. Essentially… I ignore him. It. Not like I was ignoring it before. I was ignoring it but letting it get to me anyways. I can’t do that this time. Now I need to try and keep myself from thinking about it, from acknowledging it at all. Hell, try to make a game out of it, maybe.” He snapped the notebook shut. “...gods, this will take ages.”

“We can do this. You can. If anyone can, you can.”

“Hmm…”

“Remus, look at me.” He tilted his head up, meeting Sirius’ gaze. “You can do this. You’re going to kick this thing’s arse back into… whatever paperweight it crawled off of. And then we have our home back.” 

“Agreed.” 

When they got home that night the man was waiting in the living room, feet propped up on the table.

“Romantic dinner?” He asked, tilting his head. “Tell me, did he propose? Did he reach across and-”

“Sirius, music?” Remus asked as he hung up his cloak. 

A wave of the wand set the gramophone to playing and Sirius came over, one hand out. Grinning, Remus took it and they danced around the room. No matter how close the man got or what poison spilled from his lips, Remus kept his eyes locked on Sirius’. 

And so it went. 

The next day Remus woke with a new purpose. 

The man spoke and Remus continued to read the paper. The man threw his breakfast to the ground and Remus calmly charmed it into the bin and went for a walk. 

Sirius stopped running into the room every time something smashed. He would let Remus take care of it. 

Weeks passed.

Remus settled on the sofa to read through some of the students’ papers while the man followed him, ranting. Pacing back and forth behind the sofa, poison spewing from his lips. Remus began to hum. 

“You fucking moron. You can’t just wish me away. I’m in your head. I’m a part of you.” 

As he scrawled a few references in the margins, the man came around the sofa and stood in front of him. 

“Sirius doesn’t care. You see how he’s stopped, don’t you? He doesn’t even come in anymore if I break something. It’s a foregone conclusion. He’s realised how much trouble you are. Spent years trying to ignore it and now, he’s sick and tired. He cannot deal with your self-pity and your moping and your mood swings.” He shook his head sadly. “Let’s just say you’re no longer on his list of priorities.” 

Remus continued to hum, and pulled over a fresh piece of parchment. On it he began to list resources for enquiring Defense Against the Dark Arts students. 

“Look, he doesn’t care, okay? He doesn’t fucking care!” The man shouted, crossing over to the ceiling high set of shelves in the corner. Seizing it with both hands he sent the entire thing crashing to the floor. Glass shattered, wood splintered. As the dust settled, Remus finally turned his head to look. 

“Dammit. Must have left a door open. The wind’s been ghastly lately.” 

He could hear Sirius’ footfalls overhead.

“Alright?” Sirius called.

“Yeah, just the wind!”

The man glowered as Sirius’ steps came closer. 

“Morgana’s tits! The wind is really strong today.”

“Yeah, we should re-cast our weatherproofing spells.”

“That draft is deadly.”

In the background the man continued to glower and raised his foot to kick out at one of the fallen books before catching himself at the last second. “The wind? The fucking wind?!” The man shouted. “Do I look like the fucking wind to you?!” His voice dropped into angry muttering.

“After supper?”

“Sure.”

“Alright. Be careful in here. Don’t let the breeze bring any rafters down on your head.”

“I don’t think it has the strength.” Remus chuckled.

Grinning, Sirius leaned in to steal a kiss. 

  
  


A fortnight later, amid weakening attacks Remus was putting one of their records away when his eyes landed on a stone sitting on the mantle. Its silver-black surface was worn smooth from age and touch. 

“Sirius, when did this get put out?”

“What?” 

“This stone… it’s my father’s.” Remus picked it up, finger’s curling around it comfortably. It immediately brought him back to being small, of exploring the shelves in his father’s study. 

Sirius had gotten up from the sofa to stand beside him. 

“...I can’t remember? Did it come in one of the boxes Hope sent?” He turned Remus’ hand over to get a better look. 

The man had set up camp in the corner, hurling insults whenever Remus drifted near but when the stone was brought up he seemed to perk up, eyes riveted. 

“Must have. Dad had all kinds of stones and crystals in his study. Each one had different purposes, he used to explain them to me, wait-” Getting up on his toes, Remus hooked a finger over at much-used book and dragged it down. His father had passed on the reference book ages ago. Sirius took the stone and they migrated back to the sofa where Remus began to flip through the pages. 

“There, look. Hematite.”

“It’s a protective stone though. Says it’s for grounding. Getting rid of bad energy… spiritual..” Sirius had leaned in to read, head on Remus’ shoulder. 

“Yeah, but look here, it needs to be cleansed. If this was sitting in Dad’s study the whole time he was working his experiment and then it all gets packed away and sits to fester-”

“Ah hell.”

“Fuck.”

“What, you think some stupid stone is going to get rid of me?” The man had come out of his sulk and was now standing directly across from them, arms folded against his sunken chest. 

“So this needs to be cleansed and packed away for now.” Sirius untangled himself from Remus’ side and got to his feet. “It says ocean water but… salt water in general should work right? I could floo or apparate to the ocean if you want?”

“No, no,” Remus was laughing. “You don’t need to floo to the ocean. We have sea salt in the kitchen. That’s good enough.”

“Are you laughing at me?” Sirius tugged Remus up and pulled him forward for a kiss which Remus returned with a grin.

“I’m not laughing _at_ you. I’m appreciating you.”

“Oh come onnnnn…” The man rolled his eyes. “Playing happy families are we? You aren’t fooling anyone.” 

As the pair moved into the kitchen, the man followed. 

“I know you can see me.” He growled. “You think washing some stupid rock is going to help you? Reaching for straws now. Desperate.”

“Warm water?” Sirius asked.

“It would help the salt dissolve.” Remus answered. 

“Oh for WOULD YOU LOOK AT ME!?” The man screamed, reaching and sweeping the dry rack from the counter. All of the dinner dishes hit the floor in an almighty crash. Remus didn’t so much as flinch, he continued to stir the salt into dissolving but Sirius was staring at the fallen dishware with a look of shock. 

Over Sirius’ shoulder Remus could see the man panting, looking in annoyance at what he’d just done. 

“You alright Sirius?”

“Yeah, we forgot those weatherproofing charms.”

With a string of curses, the man stormed from the room.

“He’s forgetting himself.” Remus mumbled under his breath as they set the stone down in the salt water. "Fucking finally."

“Only two months of ignoring him and look at the progress.” Sirius whispered. 

They brought the bowl back into the living room and set it on the coffee table and headed upstairs to sleep. 

In the morning there was no sign of the man, nor did he watch from the window when they took the stone outside to rinse off in the stream that ran through the back of the garden. Afterwards it was patted dry and left to sit out in the sun in the garden. 

And so things went. 

Sirius and Remus made a point of enjoying every moment in the house and spending a lot of time outside or in the village.

The man continued to appear but with every passing day he seemed diminished. The details of his face lost their definitions. His skin dulled. Until it was more a feeling than anything else. When a week passed without so much as a single shiver Sirius declared victory but Remus was cautious. He waited for another three. 

“Where do you think it’s gone?” Sirius asked, settled next to Remus on a bench in the garden. 

“I have no idea. They can’t be destroyed… it’s probably gone off in the area waiting to latch on to a new host. Or… we’ve hopefully taken enough of its energy away that it can’t do much of anything except sulk in the ether.”

“Good. Let it sulk.”

“Maybe we should put up some notices.” Remus laughed. “ _Homeless Thoughtform in the vicinity looking for host to torment. Be Vigilant.’”_

“Ease up, Mad-Eye.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've read that you aren't supposed to put Hematite in water but I think the boys were more focused on cleansing the hell out of it and weren't so concerned with the appearance of the stone. 
> 
> For anyone interested in reading more about Tulpas, thoughtforms or The Skinny Monk here's a wiki link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulpa 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading!


End file.
